How I Make My Life Easier (As a Mom with a Small Village)

A little backstory:

Like many other Millennial parents, my husband and I have a very small village compared to what we grew up with. The majority of our family on both sides live out of the state and country. The family that does live close by work full-time and we don’t see them often, with the exception of my dad and stepmother whom we see almost weekly. We don’t have childcare outside of the two of us, have yet to leave our slow-to-warm and highly sensitive temperament 2.5 year old overnight, and are just beginning to leave our toddler with my parents while she’s awake (our date nights have begun after bedtime and we’re looking forward to date days!).

Soon after the birth of my daughter and while coping with PPA and PPD, I realized I needed to radically change how I was living day-to-day and my time.

Here are 6 methods and ideas that have helped me as a SAHM with a small village:

Weekly “Me” Time

My husband and I trade off weekend mornings so we can both get time for ourselves, our hobbies, or whatever fills our cup that weekend. For example, my husband will have Saturday morning and I will have Sunday morning. Some weekends it just doesn’t work out, but we always make this a priority.

I’ll be honest, when we first started this routine, I was using my time to clean. Surprise! This just made me feel EXTRA burnt out. I switched my cleaning routine around so the house would be clean prior to my stress-free Sunday morning.

Here are some things I’ve done during my “me” mornings:

Thrift & local coffee shop visit                                       

Read with a warm cup of tea

Write (blog or journaling)                 

Get brunch with friends

Sleep in (usually until 8am but still a win!)  

Hike a trail that isn’t kid-friendly

Call or FaceTime my sister (who lives out of state)

Watch a movie or show that I’ve been wanting to see

Meal Plan + Prep

Planning our meals for the week was something I started pre-parenthood but have really leaned into in motherhood.

I plan out our lunches and dinners for the week, including my husband’s work lunches, to make my life less complicated around meals. Buying groceries is easier, less expensive, and there is less food waste too.

I write out our weekly meal plan (listed by days of the week) and grocery list in one note in my phone. I have my grocery list categorized by item type, i.e. produce, frozen, refrigerated, dry, and household (like toilet paper or batteries).

I’m also in my *freezer girl era*, which means that I’m prepping and freezing a lot of ingredients and pre-made food. This is purely to save time and for convenience.

A few things I freeze:

Homemade baked goods (i.e. sliced bagels, muffins, pancakes, waffles, sliced bread, naan, tortillas, pita, etc.)

Cleaned, diced, and portioned vegetables (i.e. onions, carrots, celery)

Cooked rotisserie chicken (I always buy one from Costco, pull the meat off, let it cool, portion it out, and freeze it)

Cleaned and blanched vegetables

Cleaned fruit (including peeled bananas for smoothies or banana ice cream)

Cooked rice (sounds weird, but it’s a new trick I’ve learned and use for onigiri)

Soups, stews, chili (lay flat and freeze)

Cookie dough (nice to have on hand)

Include My Toddler in Things I Like

Including your toddler in the activities that you enjoy is one of the biggest gifts you can give to yourself as a parent. Children want to connect and be included, and choosing to include them in the hobbies or activities that you enjoy is so beneficial. Not only does it build and improve your relationship with your child, but studies show that it also builds their own confidence.

Some of the activities and hobbies I enjoy doing and include my toddler are: cooking and baking, hiking and walking, thrift shopping, reading and writing, photography (she has her own camera), and DIY/home projects. I also grew up playing board games and we’ll start introducing those soon as well.

Keep a To-Do List

Some call it “Type A” but keeping a to-do list in a note on my phone has been a game changer for me. It helps keep all the small but important pieces of my life organized in one spot that I can go back to.

On my list, I break down what needs to get done for the current day and for each day of the rest of the week. I also have a section for any Raising Little Explorers to-dos at the bottom of my note. I list line items by time of day when I will complete them and then delete them as needed.

Highly recommend for any mama- working, SAHM, etc.

Have Something to Look Forward To

This can coincide with the weekly me time idea, but I also use this as something to look forward to doing as a family. It could be a day trip, a holiday activity, my parents visiting on the weekend, and so on.

Don’t Save Chores for Nap Time

I was once a member of the “nap time hustle” club, but not any longer! Now, I use her (occasional) naps and quiet times on no-nap days as time to fill my own cup in some way. For example, I’ve written this blog post during a few naps and quiet times! I also take time to get into comfy clothes and prepare myself a special afternoon beverage (I don’t drink, iced chai is a fave). Maybe I’ll choose to get outside, listen to a podcast, read a chapter or two of a book, or just *be*. Do whatever you need for you in that moment!

Do you see a pattern here? It truly is a balancing act of finding time to engage in things that make you feel fulfilled and bring a sense of self, while also being a present and loving mother (along with all of the other day-to-day obligations we have!).

I hope this post helps you find ways to show up for yourself, mama!